Sunday, April 15, 2012

better living through chemistry

The following is an actual question given on a chemistry mid term and an actual answer so entertaining that the professor shared it with colleagues.
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) 
or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
“First, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 

“It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you” 

and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. 
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it also follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct..........

...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
This student received an A.

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