I’d rather have a bottle in front of me

than a frontal lobotomy.

Last night, my girlfriend and I were sitting in the loft

 and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state.”

“Can you imagine being dependent on some machine 

and fluids from a bottle?!”

“If that ever happens to me”, I said, 

“just pull the plug.”

So she got up, unplugged my MAC and threw out my beer.

She’s such a jerk.